Hey team,
I'm not feeling so great today. Every day since I've hit the healthy weight mark, I've gone over my maintenance. I've not got my period back, so I know I probably do need to gain a few more pounds, but there's still a part of me that wants to be minimally healthy, I guess. I don't want to feel this way, but I do.
It's the calorie counting that's getting me down rather than my actual weight, I think. I hate this habit and yet I just
I'm gonna make it colourful because I could really use a bit of positivity right now.
- If I go over my maintenance by even a small bit, it results in a binge when I count calories (such as now, and I don't want to feel this disgusted at myself again)
- Calorie requirements aren't the same every day, so I can't even gage my maintenence
- It keeps me looking forward to my next meal all day and makes me obsessive
- It's anti-social and upsetting, because when someone says "Try this", I can't
- It doesn't let me eat my mum's cooking, or at restaurants
- It's not even accurate most of the time
- It's a waste of head-space
- It makes me plan my day around food, and that's a waste of a life
- I've been able to give up counting before successfully
- Millions of people can maintain a healthy weight without ever counting calories - why wouldn't I be able to?
- I choose unhealthy things because they are lower calorie
- It's not normal
- It causes me stress and feelings of disgust towards myself
- I automatically restrict myself when I do it and, since I still have amenorrhea, my body is evidently feeling an energy deficit
- It makes me overeat a lot of the time because I feel restricted and try to rebel
- It doesn't make me happy
- It's a part of my ED
- It allows food to control me
- It makes me limit my intake of (healthy!) fats, which I (and you!) need
- Calories give no insight into the nutrition of food
- You don't even digest all of the calories that you eat, especially not from fruit and veg
That's all for today. I'm sorry. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
- A
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