The Fear of Losing Your Identity

Hey guys,

I have had other friends with EDs, and I know that a really prevalent fear that comes with recovering is the fear of losing your identity. EDs are all-consuming, so much so that you rarely think of anything else. All your hobbies relate to food and/or exercise - you have a passion for the gym, food shopping, are suddenly interested in nutrition, making and gathering recipes, or cooking. So when you think of leaving your ED behind... what are you left with?

This is the scary bit. But it's also great. It's an opportunity to totally reinvent yourself, and be the person that you want to be. For some people, it's exciting to go back to who they were and revisit old hobbies, but for others, like myself, they're terrified of being the person that they used to be. But the thing is, when you strip away your ED, you're left with a blank canvas, and you can fill it with whatever you want.

This is the time to create a life, and live your dreams (even if you don't have any yet!).

What sports have you always liked? What TV programmes did you like to watch before your ED? What have you always wanted to be able to do? What books have people recommended to you? What friends have you been meaning out to reach out to? Is there a religion that's been speaking to you recently?

Yes, it's scary. You feel like you're losing something by gaining weight, but you're gaining so much more than that, if you'll pardon the pun. You're gaining a life. It may appeal to you to be remembered as the anorexic boy/girl, but wouldn't you rather be remembered as the friend/sibling/parent/winner/artist/entertainer/reader/lover? I know I would.

- A

Comments

My Food Challenges

Hi guys, I'm quite lucky to say I've never had any strong 'fear foods' in the sense that these foods cause genuine anxiety and panic, however there are certain foods that I go out of my way to avoid or generally feel uncomfortable at the thought of eating. So... this is my list! ('Semi-fear') foods I would like to eat: Stroganoff Pasta Stir fry Shepard's pie Pancakes Tacos Enchiladas Quiche Crumble Ice cream Afternoon tea Fruit juice Risotto Crisp sandwiches Sausage sandwiches Afternoon tea A pasty American pancake stacks Croissants Sweet waffles Cinnamon rolls Ice lollies Foods I would like to cook/bake (again, on some occasions - I always loved baking!): Praline Scones Cider Beer Kombucha Lattes Polish-style stuffed cabbage Bread and butter pudding Coconut yoghurt Pumpkin pie Pecan pie I feel like I should also point out that I'm a vegan, so any recipes for these things on here will be veggie-friendly :)

60 Reasons to Recover

Hi warriors, Recovery is hard. It's demotivating. You fight for so long to get down to a low weight, that having to gain weight just feels... wrong. But it's not. I promise you it's not. Everyone has different reasons for recovery - more individual ones, like specific hobbies and interests that they want to return to - but here is my fairly generic list. To have healthy, thick hair More energy To truly enjoy food, rather than fearing it To be able to have children some day To be able to travel without fears for your blood pressure To be able to run a charity race without fears for your heart health To be able to concentrate and perform better at work/school So that you can give good cuddles again So that you can make your family and friends proud So that you can be there for your friends, and celebrate birthdays with them rather than cancelling because the food horrifies you So that one day, someone can make you breakfast in bed, and you'll be able to a

Other People's Progress Pictures

Hey guys, Recently, I've seen a lot of before and after pics floating around, and I often end up comparing myself to them. In many cases, the person goes from emaciated to fit. Sometimes it makes me judge myself, and wonder if my recovery has gone 'wrong' since I'm not ripped and lean like they are. I know this isn't the case, however. It's difficult to not create a comparison, but, if anyone is struggling with this like I am, these are the things I bear in mind: Many of these people have been recovered for years, and only built muscle after being declared a healthy weight and fit to exercise If I've been told not to exercise, it's for my own good - I can do all that later, but, right now, my health is a priority My weight has not redistributed yet - it may take 6 months to a year to fully redistribute Realistically, immediately after weight restoration, I may not like my shape, but I must accept it because with a continued healthy lifestyle

Stronger.

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