Stronger.

Hey guys, I was having one of those reflective, contemplative type days today. It still amazes me to see how far I've come, and how much things have changed. I used to hate myself. I used to cry myself to sleep every single night, because I could think of nothing worse than waking up and still being me the next day. That seems a million miles away. But this got me thinking... did I ever really hate myself , or did I just hate my habits and thought processes? I was expecting to hate myself when I gained weight, because I thought that it was being skinny that kept me away from that awful place of self-hatred, but I found that as I gained weight, I simply didn't feel much different about myself. I had changed too much from that time in my life. I don't know if this will make a lot of sense to anyone. I would just like you to consider that maybe, deep down, you don't hate yourself as an entire whole (there are so many parts of yourself), but actually just want to

Hey guys, My hair falling out was one of the main reasons that I chose to recover. It was that final sign that things just weren't okay, and never would be unless I changed my ways. I dyed and bleached my hair a lot throughout my ED, so that of course also had a negative impact and my hair ended up being not-so-great. I'm hoping that a few months down the line I'll be able to do a great before-and-after, but for the moment, this is what I'm doing to try and repair the damage. I'm using baby shampoo as it's a lot less harsh on my hair, and also removes less of the hair-dye so that I do not have to dye it as frequently I've switched to a semi-permanent hair dye and will be returning to my natural colour when it fades out When possible, I'm using my fingers or a wide-combed brush to comb through my hair (especially when it's wet!) so that I don't tear it or create split ends I'm only straightening it when strictly necessary, and al

Hey guys, I know a lot of people struggle to get a sufficient intake to become an ideal weight during recovery, and, whilst I recommend working with a nutritionist or counselor to resolve the underlying issues and help you become more comfortable with an increased intake and volume, this is my advice for getting sufficient energy in the meantime. I also want to point out that I am in no way a nutritionist, I am just pointing out what worked for me! 😊 Smoothies are great if you struggle with an increased volume. To these, you can add things like nut butter, seeds, coconut oil, avocados, dates, bananas and protein powder Cook foods in oil where possible, rather than water Opt for dried fruit rather than fresh Add extra toppings to your oatmeal , such as coconut chips, peanut butter, dark chocolate, bananas, dates, nuts and/or seeds Swap simple side salads for those featuring nuts, beans, seeds, extra veggies etc.  Switch side salads for things like beans or mushy peas w

Hey guys, Recently, I've seen a lot of before and after pics floating around, and I often end up comparing myself to them. In many cases, the person goes from emaciated to fit. Sometimes it makes me judge myself, and wonder if my recovery has gone 'wrong' since I'm not ripped and lean like they are. I know this isn't the case, however. It's difficult to not create a comparison, but, if anyone is struggling with this like I am, these are the things I bear in mind: Many of these people have been recovered for years, and only built muscle after being declared a healthy weight and fit to exercise  If I've been told not to exercise, it's for my own good - I can do all that later, but, right now, my health is a priority My weight has not redistributed yet - it may take 6 months to a year to fully redistribute Realistically, immediately after weight restoration, I may not like my shape, but I must accept it because with a continued healthy lifestyle