Stronger.

Hey guys, I was having one of those reflective, contemplative type days today. It still amazes me to see how far I've come, and how much things have changed. I used to hate myself. I used to cry myself to sleep every single night, because I could think of nothing worse than waking up and still being me the next day. That seems a million miles away. But this got me thinking... did I ever really hate myself , or did I just hate my habits and thought processes? I was expecting to hate myself when I gained weight, because I thought that it was being skinny that kept me away from that awful place of self-hatred, but I found that as I gained weight, I simply didn't feel much different about myself. I had changed too much from that time in my life. I don't know if this will make a lot of sense to anyone. I would just like you to consider that maybe, deep down, you don't hate yourself as an entire whole (there are so many parts of yourself), but actually just want to ...

Hey guys, Recently, I've seen a lot of before and after pics floating around, and I often end up comparing myself to them. In many cases, the person goes from emaciated to fit. Sometimes it makes me judge myself, and wonder if my recovery has gone 'wrong' since I'm not ripped and lean like they are. I know this isn't the case, however. It's difficult to not create a comparison, but, if anyone is struggling with this like I am, these are the things I bear in mind: Many of these people have been recovered for years, and only built muscle after being declared a healthy weight and fit to exercise  If I've been told not to exercise, it's for my own good - I can do all that later, but, right now, my health is a priority My weight has not redistributed yet - it may take 6 months to a year to fully redistribute Realistically, immediately after weight restoration, I may not like my shape, but I must accept it because with a continued healthy lifestyle ...

Hi guys, I know I often talk about clothing having a positive impact in making my weight gain more bearable, and I really do feel like my attire has helped me a lot, so I thought that maybe I'd offer some advice to anyone reading who perhaps doesn't feel so confident in the clothes they are wearing at the moment. I also think it's really beneficial to get rid of - or at least box up - clothes that are too small or that you won't feel comfortable in, and you can instead invest in some really lovely new clothes to celebrate when you're weight restored 😊 So... onto the list: Long, baggy tops - I actually got mine from the men's section as they were wider and longer, which was a huge relief for me as it is usually my hips and thighs that I am conscious of Jeans - Mom jeans, boyfriend jeans, girlfriend jeans (anything that isn't skinny fit, really - unless of course you are feeling confident about your legs and are sure that they will fit you througho...

Hi team, I'm actually coping okay with the weight gain at the moment. I can actually feel some clarity coming back into my mind, which is wonderful; I'm sleeping most nights, and the bodies I once aspired to now seem too thin, as does my own body whilst I'm still weight restoring. I never thought I'd say any of that. But here we are. Anywho, I still get not-so positive days. It's to be expected. And it's okay. The main thing is to have a healthy outlet, one that doesn't involve losing weight or punishing myself. These tips may not work for everyone, but they've been handy for me on what I refer to as "the black days". When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see... Do a silly dance, or pull a funny face Say something silly (you might feel like an idiot, but I find it pretty difficult to be sad if I'm repeatedly saying "Boopity boop", or "Fluffy kittens") Make a list of the top 10 things yo...

Hi team, Weight gain is the hardest part of recovery for me. I'm having a hard time with it. I'm scared of the associations and bad experiences I had at my healthy weight, I'm scared of other people seeing me change, I'm scared of seeing myself change... but I need to do it. I know that ultimately, my body is a place to live, and, if I'm not a healthy weight, I'm deteriorating. Like I said, I'm struggling a lot with it myself, but there are good days as well as the bad, so I thought that I'd make a list of things that are helping me cope at the moment. Things that help: Wearing baggy clothing (I had to buy new, but changing up my style is quite refreshing) Getting rid of all my old clothes that I knew wouldn't fit me Moving (nothing intense, just walking, yoga, or weightlifting) Spending time around other, healthy, people -  I know that I personally always underestimate the average person's weight and, as the internet a wasps' ne...

Hi team, This may not work for everyone, but, for me, it really helps to disassociate with my body somewhat during recovery. I'm aiming not to feel totally disconnected of course, but it reassures me to know that I am not my legs, or my stomach, or my arms, or even my face. These are just things that make up the body I have, and that body is the mode of transport for my life. Nothing more, nothing less. But it's still a pretty fantastic thing. I decided to try and make a big ol' list (yep, I love lists) for all the things that we should try to appreciate about our bodies. Your blood carries platelets to control the bleeding every time you get a cut Your brain can create the most beautiful dreams whilst you sleep Your brain makes sure that you always carry on breathing, even when you're asleep Your bones can repair themselves after you break them Your blood can cure you of viruses and make you better again Your legs and arms allow you to dance and express...