I reached a healthy BMI today

Hi,

So today I did it; I reached the healthy BMI range.

I have mixed feelings really, and none of them were what I was expecting. When I was at my lowest weight, I really believed that by the time that I got here I would hate myself, and immediately want to relapse. I thought I would feel like a failure, and regret my decision. But I don't. Not at all.

Really, I feel quite surprised - but I still like my body, and I didn't think I could if I was a healthy weight! And even more surprisingly, but I still look too thin, actually - maybe I should gain some more? Yep, that was the shocker. And there was also a little bit of but I'm gonna miss eating this much peanut butter.

Definitely not the feelings I was expecting. Truly, I'm so happy. I'm healthy now (or at least very close to being), at last. My BPM has gone from the 40s to 80. My BP has improved. I have so much more energy. My hair has stopped falling out so much. I can get to sleep at night.
It feels as if I'm seeing the entire world through rose-tinted glasses.

I'm staying at this weight for a bit (I was very close to this weight pre-ED) to see how it goes, and if my period isn't back in a few months I'll gain until it is.

I felt the need to post this to reassure my readers that being at a healthy weight isn't as scary as you think it might be, and it's not the horrible associations you have with it. It's feeling strong, and feeling happy and most of all free. I really hope that you can get there, friends. Best of luck!

- A

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Introduction

Hi, I'm A! I'm currently in recovery from anorexia, and will be using this blog for my thoughts and to document anything that helps me along the way. I'm hoping that it will keep me accountable, and that one day I'll be able to look back and see how far I've come. I'm not really sure 100% what direction this blog will take - recovery isn't the same for anyone - but if you stick around, hopefully there will be some good and happy times to come :)

Stronger.

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