Skip to main content

The Physical Downsides of My ED


Hey,

I'm pretty sure it's evident from my blog so far that I'm a fan of lists. They help me organise my thinking.

I know that relapse is really prevalent among ED sufferers, and I really, really don't want that to be the case for me. Whilst I'm recovering, I thought I'd draw up the physical consequences of my ED before I forget, hopefully stopping me from wanting to pursue an underweight body ever again.

I'm mostly listing physical consequences here because they can't be denied. I think it's easier for me to shrug off mental symptoms or justify them, though of course they are not healthy either. This is just what helps me keep a clear perspective on how terrible my ED was for my body.


  1. Very low heart rate
  2. Low BP
  3. Seeing black spots when running
  4. Tiredness walking up the stairs
  5. Insomnia
  6. Amenhorrea
  7. Hair falling out
  8. Feeling cold all the time
  9. Tooth damage
  10. Chest pain [showing my heart muscle was weakening]
  11. Difficulty digesting food
  12. Stomachaches
  13. Dizziness
  14. Pain when sitting
  15. Tingling in the hands and feet
  16. Moodswings
  17. Dry skin, hair, and nails
  18. Excessive urination
  19. Weak bones and knee injuries
  20. Reduced concentration and memory
  21. Stunted growth
  22. Lanugo 
  23. Easy bruising, even just laying on my bed
  24. Kidney pain [could later lead to failure]
  25. Discoloured skin in my feet and under my eyes (my toes turned purple once... not nice)
Somehow I shrugged all this off at the time. Because they came individually, and I was maintaining rather than restricting, I thought I was alright. This list seems kind of overwhelming now, actually, but at least it's a reminder of everything I am fighting to get away from.

Side note: this is just me reflecting on how my ED wronged me. I am in no way suggesting that I had it worse than anybody else, or that not having these symptoms means a person should not recover. Everyone with an ED deserves recovery and happiness. The point of this post is simply to me, so that I can remind myself not to ever glamorise my ED (I have a habit of thinking that things "weren't that bad" once they're over, which, in the case of EDs, is obviously a dangerous train of thought). 

- A





Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Other People's Progress Pictures

Hey guys, Recently, I've seen a lot of before and after pics floating around, and I often end up comparing myself to them. In many cases, the person goes from emaciated to fit. Sometimes it makes me judge myself, and wonder if my recovery has gone 'wrong' since I'm not ripped and lean like they are. I know this isn't the case, however. It's difficult to not create a comparison, but, if anyone is struggling with this like I am, these are the things I bear in mind: Many of these people have been recovered for years, and only built muscle after being declared a healthy weight and fit to exercise  If I've been told not to exercise, it's for my own good - I can do all that later, but, right now, my health is a priority My weight has not redistributed yet - it may take 6 months to a year to fully redistribute Realistically, immediately after weight restoration, I may not like my shape, but I must accept it because with a continued healthy lifestyle ...
Post a Comment
Read more

How I'm trying to repair my hair

Hey guys, My hair falling out was one of the main reasons that I chose to recover. It was that final sign that things just weren't okay, and never would be unless I changed my ways. I dyed and bleached my hair a lot throughout my ED, so that of course also had a negative impact and my hair ended up being not-so-great. I'm hoping that a few months down the line I'll be able to do a great before-and-after, but for the moment, this is what I'm doing to try and repair the damage. I'm using baby shampoo as it's a lot less harsh on my hair, and also removes less of the hair-dye so that I do not have to dye it as frequently I've switched to a semi-permanent hair dye and will be returning to my natural colour when it fades out When possible, I'm using my fingers or a wide-combed brush to comb through my hair (especially when it's wet!) so that I don't tear it or create split ends I'm only straightening it when strictly necessary, and al...
Post a Comment
Read more

60 Reasons to Recover

Hi warriors, Recovery is hard. It's demotivating. You fight for so long to get down to a low weight, that having to gain weight just feels... wrong. But it's not. I promise you it's not. Everyone has different reasons for recovery - more individual ones, like specific hobbies and interests that they want to return to - but here is my fairly generic list. To have healthy, thick hair More energy To truly enjoy food, rather than fearing it To be able to have children some day To be able to travel without fears for your blood pressure To be able to run a charity race without fears for your heart health To be able to concentrate and perform better at work/school So that you can give good cuddles again So that you can make your family and friends proud So that you can be there for your friends, and celebrate birthdays with them rather than cancelling because the food horrifies you So that one day, someone can make you breakfast in bed, and you'll be able to a...
Post a Comment
Read more