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The Physical Downsides of My ED


Hey,

I'm pretty sure it's evident from my blog so far that I'm a fan of lists. They help me organise my thinking.

I know that relapse is really prevalent among ED sufferers, and I really, really don't want that to be the case for me. Whilst I'm recovering, I thought I'd draw up the physical consequences of my ED before I forget, hopefully stopping me from wanting to pursue an underweight body ever again.

I'm mostly listing physical consequences here because they can't be denied. I think it's easier for me to shrug off mental symptoms or justify them, though of course they are not healthy either. This is just what helps me keep a clear perspective on how terrible my ED was for my body.


  1. Very low heart rate
  2. Low BP
  3. Seeing black spots when running
  4. Tiredness walking up the stairs
  5. Insomnia
  6. Amenhorrea
  7. Hair falling out
  8. Feeling cold all the time
  9. Tooth damage
  10. Chest pain [showing my heart muscle was weakening]
  11. Difficulty digesting food
  12. Stomachaches
  13. Dizziness
  14. Pain when sitting
  15. Tingling in the hands and feet
  16. Moodswings
  17. Dry skin, hair, and nails
  18. Excessive urination
  19. Weak bones and knee injuries
  20. Reduced concentration and memory
  21. Stunted growth
  22. Lanugo 
  23. Easy bruising, even just laying on my bed
  24. Kidney pain [could later lead to failure]
  25. Discoloured skin in my feet and under my eyes (my toes turned purple once... not nice)
Somehow I shrugged all this off at the time. Because they came individually, and I was maintaining rather than restricting, I thought I was alright. This list seems kind of overwhelming now, actually, but at least it's a reminder of everything I am fighting to get away from.

Side note: this is just me reflecting on how my ED wronged me. I am in no way suggesting that I had it worse than anybody else, or that not having these symptoms means a person should not recover. Everyone with an ED deserves recovery and happiness. The point of this post is simply to me, so that I can remind myself not to ever glamorise my ED (I have a habit of thinking that things "weren't that bad" once they're over, which, in the case of EDs, is obviously a dangerous train of thought). 

- A





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