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Hating Yourself

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How I'm trying to repair my hair

Hey guys, My hair falling out was one of the main reasons that I chose to recover. It was that final sign that things just weren't okay, and never would be unless I changed my ways. I dyed and bleached my hair a lot throughout my ED, so that of course also had a negative impact and my hair ended up being not-so-great. I'm hoping that a few months down the line I'll be able to do a great before-and-after, but for the moment, this is what I'm doing to try and repair the damage. I'm using baby shampoo as it's a lot less harsh on my hair, and also removes less of the hair-dye so that I do not have to dye it as frequently I've switched to a semi-permanent hair dye and will be returning to my natural colour when it fades out When possible, I'm using my fingers or a wide-combed brush to comb through my hair (especially when it's wet!) so that I don't tear it or create split ends I'm only straightening it when strictly necessary, and al

18 Ways to Increase Calorie Intake

Hey guys, I know a lot of people struggle to get a sufficient intake to become an ideal weight during recovery, and, whilst I recommend working with a nutritionist or counselor to resolve the underlying issues and help you become more comfortable with an increased intake and volume, this is my advice for getting sufficient energy in the meantime. I also want to point out that I am in no way a nutritionist, I am just pointing out what worked for me! 😊 Smoothies are great if you struggle with an increased volume. To these, you can add things like nut butter, seeds, coconut oil, avocados, dates, bananas and protein powder Cook foods in oil where possible, rather than water Opt for dried fruit rather than fresh Add extra toppings to your oatmeal , such as coconut chips, peanut butter, dark chocolate, bananas, dates, nuts and/or seeds Swap simple side salads for those featuring nuts, beans, seeds, extra veggies etc.  Switch side salads for things like beans or mushy peas w

Other People's Progress Pictures

Hey guys, Recently, I've seen a lot of before and after pics floating around, and I often end up comparing myself to them. In many cases, the person goes from emaciated to fit. Sometimes it makes me judge myself, and wonder if my recovery has gone 'wrong' since I'm not ripped and lean like they are. I know this isn't the case, however. It's difficult to not create a comparison, but, if anyone is struggling with this like I am, these are the things I bear in mind: Many of these people have been recovered for years, and only built muscle after being declared a healthy weight and fit to exercise  If I've been told not to exercise, it's for my own good - I can do all that later, but, right now, my health is a priority My weight has not redistributed yet - it may take 6 months to a year to fully redistribute Realistically, immediately after weight restoration, I may not like my shape, but I must accept it because with a continued healthy lifestyle

The Fear of Losing Your Identity

Hey guys, I have had other friends with EDs, and I know that a really prevalent fear that comes with recovering is the fear of losing your identity. EDs are all-consuming, so much so that you rarely think of anything else. All your hobbies relate to food and/or exercise - you have a passion for the gym, food shopping, are suddenly interested in nutrition, making and gathering recipes, or cooking. So when you think of leaving your ED behind... what are you left with? This is the scary bit. But it's also great. It's an opportunity to totally reinvent yourself, and be the person that you want to be. For some people, it's exciting to go back to who they were and revisit old hobbies, but for others, like myself, they're terrified of being the person that they used to be. But the thing is, when you strip away your ED, you're left with a blank canvas, and you can fill it with whatever you want. This is the time to create a life, and live your dreams (even if you don

15 Best Things About Weight Restoration

Hi guys, Before I started weight restoration, all I could think of were negatives. I thought I would look ugly in my clothes, that I would be fat, and that I would hate myself. But truly, this has not been the case. Many of the things that I thought would be awful were actually quite nice. That's not to say, of course, that there haven't been bad days. There are days when I miss being underweight, and they're quite frequent, but I don't feel the need to act on these thoughts: it is necessary for me to be the weight I am, and this body enables me to live the active and long life I wish to. I still think I look good, even if I look different. But I'm getting off topic. Here are some of the best things about weight restoration, from my personal experience: Buying new clothes and investing in my appearance - I used to have cheap clothes because my weight changed so much, but now I'm really getting quality things that I like Reinventing myself as a perso

Clothing for Weight Gain

Hi guys, I know I often talk about clothing having a positive impact in making my weight gain more bearable, and I really do feel like my attire has helped me a lot, so I thought that maybe I'd offer some advice to anyone reading who perhaps doesn't feel so confident in the clothes they are wearing at the moment. I also think it's really beneficial to get rid of - or at least box up - clothes that are too small or that you won't feel comfortable in, and you can instead invest in some really lovely new clothes to celebrate when you're weight restored 😊 So... onto the list: Long, baggy tops - I actually got mine from the men's section as they were wider and longer, which was a huge relief for me as it is usually my hips and thighs that I am conscious of Jeans - Mom jeans, boyfriend jeans, girlfriend jeans (anything that isn't skinny fit, really - unless of course you are feeling confident about your legs and are sure that they will fit you througho